Get Ready to Re-Write History
The Don is declassifying. The Elon is dismantling. The Establishment is defecating.
Can America handle the truth?
We think we’re going to learn who shot JFK, but we better be prepared to learn that Oswald shot from the jealous apex of an Oswald-JFK-Marilyn Monroe love triangle. And Marilyn was a dude.
We think we’re going to learn details about MKUltra’s acidification of America. Are we prepared to learn that Carter-Reagan-Bush suppressed studies of LSD’s beneficial health effects because they patronized the same midget-whores-only brothel and the brothel’s owner, Pfizer, took secret pics?
The Trump team is opening the doors and windows. It’s letting in light and fresh air.
Goblins are gonna tear out of that dank tower like a clown car of meth-addled circus performers.
It’ll shake faith in the Establishment, which is a good thing.
It’ll shake faith in historical narratives, which is also a good thing.
History is less reliable than Wifi at the moment you really need it. In fact, it’s inherently unreliable. If you think you have a grip on history, you’re more naïve than a freshman asking out the smokin’ hot homecoming queen.
John’s gospel postscript had it right—the world couldn’t contain all the books needed to tell the story. Heck, you can’t even recount a drunken night out without accidentally bearing false witness.
Truth is bigger than the words that hold it.
History is bigger than the books that tell it. It’s the nature of that nerdy beast.
American history has always been a dumpster of shit to some extent. Journalists have long been crooked, lazy, biased, or all three. News reports are too abbreviated to reveal more than 1/10th of the tip of the shitty iceberg. High school textbooks are written to melt individual brains into a national pot of conformity. The narratives that develop from such dubious beginnings hold reality like a freshman sorority girl holds her liquor.
But when there are also active and coordinated efforts to fabricate the first draft of history (newspapers) and squelch alternative first drafts like we’ve had over the past decade?
When that happens, you get an overflowing dumpster of shit.
Now Donald and Elon are setting that dumpster on fire.
Antonio Gracias recently said he was shocked during his first days with DOGE to realize that America had gone from a bloated bureaucratic state to a state of near-open thievery by our overlords and their minions. America, he believes, was teetering on the edge of becoming a kleptocracy, but our Tony Stark with a Twitter addiction showed up in the nick of time. His sidekick, Big Balls, then shot the culprit as he was killing his victim.
Did Iron Man and Iron Crotch get there in time?
We’re gonna find out. We’re gonna find out a lot of things. It’s going to be a wild ride. For now, we only know one thing: it’s going to be uglier than Joe Biden sniffing a twelve-year-old girl’s hair.